下面是小编为大家整理的Ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲,供大家参考。
Ellen杜兰大学毕业演讲稿英文
Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowen; distinguished guests, undistinguished guests - you know who you are, honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher. And thank you to all the graduating class of 2020, I realize most of you are hungover and have splitting headaches and havent slept since Fat Tuesday, but you cant graduate til I finish, so listen up.
When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. Then I went to look up what commencement meant. Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Portias, and theyre all written in Australian. So I had to break the word down myself, to find out the meaning.
Commencement: common, and cement. Common cement. You commonly see cement on sidewalks. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mothers back. So theres that. But Im honored that youve asked me here to speak at your common cement.
I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus - alumini - aluminum - alumis - you had to graduate from this school. And I didnt go to college here, and I dont know if President Cowan knows, I didnt go to any college at all. Any college. And Im not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, Im a huge celebrity.
Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers. ...
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